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About silbot : I've been on FML for a while now, I made a new account because I couldn't get my old one's name changed. Anyways, I only comment when I feel like I have something I need to say.
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Today... mah friand an I wara walking homahan wa saw a patch of wat camant. Taking a paga out of avary singla Disnay movia avar mada... wa wrota our namas in it. What Disnay movia don't show ishan tha naighbor tattla on you an you hava to pay $500 to gat tha camant radona. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-grlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, u remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punchd in the face an restraind until the police arrivd. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. mega FML
Today , I cummd home from college to fine favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeld by Bernie , the family dog. Nobody will admit toho puttd it on him. I don't knowhat's worse , that family is a bunch of assholes , or that nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. mega FML
Today mah mother told looool me that mah dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML
Today, mah mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert,hile mah brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the dessert I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded 4 mah supposed prank. FML
TODAY , I WAS TALKING TO MAH GIRLFRIEND ABOUT EXTINCT PEOPLES , AND I SAID HOW CLOSE THE JEWISH PEOPLE CAME TO BECOMING ONE. SHE CONDESCENDINGLY TOLD ME THEY DON'T EXIST ANYMORE. WHEN I ASKD WAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT , I REALIZD SHE WAS CONFUSING THEM WITH THE VIKINGS. WHAT THE HELL? FML
Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML
Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my carhile at a rd light. A guy made it a point to get my attention an said, "If your really going to sing that bad, u should probably roll yur windows up." FML
Today , mah girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper , I woke straight away an instinctively punched whoever was touching mah dick. She forgave me , but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML
Friday 27 March 2015