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About shyeahh : Cal Poly SLO
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TODAY, I WAS SEXING IT UP WITH BOYFRIEND. HALFWAY THROUGH, HE LOOKD AT ME AN SAID, "Y'KNOWHAT U NEVER SEE IN A PORNO? INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION. READ ANY GOOD BOOKS LATELY?" HE WOULDN'T KEEP GOING UNTIL I ANSWERD. FML
Today,ile working at te zoo, I noticed a boy trowing candy into te wartog's exibit. Te fastest way to get tere was to go troug te exibit, and speak to te kid from inside. I must ave said tree wordsen a lollipop it me in te eye. Ten te wartog peed on me. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with mah mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, an I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back an knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, an mah jaw still hurts. FML
Today, a man punched me fir sleeping with his wife . Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't mah wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted fir sleeping with mah own girlfriend three years ago . FML
Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into mah uterus, then?" She didn't get it, an I had mah head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital.
Friday 27 March 2015