About shyeahh : Haters gon' hate, potatoes gon' potate.
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Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23761) - you deserved it (2670)
On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius
Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17651) - you deserved it (2607)
On 12/19/2011 at 7:56pm - work - by jigglypuff100 (woman) - United States
Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (1377)
On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17255) - you deserved it (3862)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15560) - you deserved it (3691)
On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (1590)
On 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40229) - you deserved it (3157)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (3707)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10256) - you deserved it (25887)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (6211)
On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (4802)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18245) - you deserved it (6460)
On 10/26/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by skippy_liz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (5249)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (2981)
On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML
I agree, your life sucks (67853) - you deserved it (3905)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Tuck_My_Life (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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