Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shyeahh

Search for a member

shyeahh
  • Town/Country : California, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 December 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 498
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About shyeahh : Haters gon' hate, potatoes gon' potate.

shyeahh's last visitors

krupa1017ILoveMyIpad1234anoneemooseisabella1501kingofswedestaco_in_my_anusScotticus117Tbear11ZebraMC

shyeahh's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of shyeahh's badges

shyeahh's favorite FMLs

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12359) - you deserved it (47148)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (5617)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (6345)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (4230)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

#18560105
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius

Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML

#18556039
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (3516)

On 12/19/2011 at 7:56pm - work - by jigglypuff100 (woman) - United States

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

#18523510
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27349) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19366) - you deserved it (4886)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (3735)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

#18464914
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (1984)

On 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12631) - you deserved it (33317)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

#14618568
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (6419)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

#14120068
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (4844)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: