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shutyourface97

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shutyourface97

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 268
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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shutyourface97's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you deserved it (4519)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28751) - you deserved it (2370)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (32430)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124182) - you deserved it (7222)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (170363) - you deserved it (30571)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86395) - you deserved it (17878)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML

#481871
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100118) - you deserved it (5621)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (658338) - you deserved it (442416)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
535 comments

I agree, your life sucks (501303) - you deserved it (34101)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101312) - you deserved it (6313)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (478428) - you deserved it (45937)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
745 comments

I agree, your life sucks (776372) - you deserved it (82766)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)



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