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About shutupmichaela : sadly, no, I am not Hayley Williams from Paramore.
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Today I figurd out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl and rub the water on her face. So I puttd the water bowl out of reach. She then figurd out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I decidd to be friendly and say i to te werd kid at scool, wo was sitting by imself eating lunc. After I said ello, e stard up at me intensely and said, ( I don't ave many friends. Yea. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of tem. ) FML
Today, Mah Husband Thought It Would Be Acceptable To Watch Breaking Bad On Netflix With Mah 4-year-old In The Room. What Happened To Be The Only Line He Picked Up? "Well Heil Hitler, Bitch!" I Found Out From His Preschool Teacher. Fat FML
Today, tis girl and I were cilling in ma apartment and tings got eated up and we started making out . One ting lead to anoter and te next ting I knew se was giving me ead . I was getting ready to busten se stopped, looked up into ma eyes and said "Do u believe in Jesus?" real FML
yesterday my 5 year old nephew showd me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I looool smild an said, ( Wow! Now, how about some blue martians! ) He lookd at me an replid, ( How about some blue shut the fuck up?! ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015