shutupmichaela

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shutupmichaela

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1107
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About shutupmichaela : sadly, no, I am not Hayley Williams from Paramore.

shutupmichaela's page activity

Visits<b>Blesst</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 2:55am<b>warrior123_blah</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 5:20pm<b>lambda</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 12:56am<b>dno79</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:09pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 1:37am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 5:43am<b>i_lol_at_life</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 9:25pm<b>fhlakd</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:21am<b>Jayms</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 4:25pm<b>frnk</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 10:59pm<b>NateshN</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:31pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:47am<b>scottwaite</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:58am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:08pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:44am<b>bs252</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:43am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:30am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:14am

Fucked!<b>fhlakd</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 7:21am<b>pete9913</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:45pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:14pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 3:23am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:21am<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:03am<b>gary3768</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:28am

shutupmichaela's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of shutupmichaela's badges

shutupmichaela's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

by failure / 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm / United States (New Mexico) / Health

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

by lovehurts / 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

by Water Daughter / 10/13/2013 at 1:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

by AnAwesomePerson7 / 09/25/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

by Parental Support / 08/30/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

by really? / 08/13/2013 at 2:58am / United States / Love

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids