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shutupmichaela

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shutupmichaela

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 470
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About shutupmichaela : sadly, no, I am not Hayley Williams from Paramore.

shutupmichaela's page activity

Visits<b>mattc99</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 9:30pm<b>ionab101</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:21pm<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:53am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:31am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:43pm<b>QuaSiCos</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:55pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:07pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 9:24am<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:51pm<b>masteraegis</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:49am<b>karly55</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:52pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:19am<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:28am<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:41am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 5:55am<b>fmlwtfmate</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 4:39pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:50pm<b>house51</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:44pm

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shutupmichaela's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46079) - you deserved it (12120)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43238) - you deserved it (3492)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37677) - you deserved it (17498)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41695) - you deserved it (17539)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39411) - you deserved it (8005)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (7767)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47036) - you deserved it (8458)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45372) - you deserved it (4122)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36529) - you deserved it (8687)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45903) - you deserved it (4865)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (39064)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48444) - you deserved it (5526)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)



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