Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shutupmichaela

Search for a member

shutupmichaela

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 September 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 346
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About shutupmichaela : sadly, no, I am not Hayley Williams from Paramore.

shutupmichaela's page activity

Visits<b>masteraegis</b> - 4 hours ago<b>karly55</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:52pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:19am<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:28am<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:41am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 5:55am<b>fmlwtfmate</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 4:39pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:50pm<b>house51</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:44pm<b>GEBEH</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 12:02pm<b>skelly_v</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:32am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:37am<b>pandahatt</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:32pm<b>gAt_d</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:33pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:19pm<b>ian3866</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:33pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:13pm

shutupmichaela's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of shutupmichaela's badges

shutupmichaela's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48794) - you deserved it (5208)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45418) - you deserved it (5827)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (52621)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41568) - you deserved it (5750)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48612) - you deserved it (4185)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45329) - you deserved it (4685)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (38048)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47479) - you deserved it (5550)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

#21039900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23489) - you deserved it (46360)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (4633)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35335) - you deserved it (17662)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43446) - you deserved it (11276)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41971) - you deserved it (3377)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37197) - you deserved it (17296)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: