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shutupK

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shutupK

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 856
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About shutupK : Grammar Nazis.... If I had a dick, I'd pull it out and piss on you.

Just kidding I am a grammer Nazi.

KaySL I love you. Boners I hate you. Docbastard my feelings for you are undecided.

I'm sexier than you, and I hate you, so get off my profile now you pathetic excuse for a life.

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shutupK's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

#5716873
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17045) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:41am - intimacy - by JD (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML

#5235407
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31497) - you deserved it (5666)

On 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm - love - by CaeliLady (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15420) - you deserved it (65766)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML

#4466050
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31093) - you deserved it (56877)

On 08/12/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered that my cheating, stealing ex boyfriend is posting pictures of naked women having group sex, with my face photoshopped onto them. He sent those to my boss, my friends, my family, only because I refused to bail his drunken self out of jail a couple weeks ago. FML

#4176404
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66882) - you deserved it (6454)

On 07/31/2009 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Spadiethestar (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

#3767592
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48450) - you deserved it (5413)

On 07/15/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML

#3331987
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50501) - you deserved it (13062)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:31am - love - by ipopnlok (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

#3215628
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61796) - you deserved it (9662)

On 06/25/2009 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122815) - you deserved it (75434)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125306) - you deserved it (6944)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

#662645
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (77566)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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