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shutupK

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shutupK
  • Town/Country : That place, Where your dad is.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 745
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About shutupK : Grammar Nazis.... If I had a dick, I'd pull it out and piss on you.

Just kidding I am a grammer Nazi.

KaySL I love you. Boners I hate you. Docbastard my feelings for you are undecided.

I'm sexier than you, and I hate you, so get off my profile now you pathetic excuse for a life.

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shutupK's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

#16161340
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (3522)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by Uhmm... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

#16157379
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (5094)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm - animals - by crazycat - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was sitting in the lecture hall. A girl walked by to get to her seat and her dress got caught on the handles, lifting it up. She didn't notice but I did, so I tried to take it off the handles. She turned around to see me holding her dress up. FML

#16153880
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31673) - you deserved it (7258)

On 05/13/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by ctop (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (8141)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

#15270660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (3273)

On 03/11/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (46496)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (45478)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

#13910600
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you deserved it (11737)

On 11/20/2010 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28877) - you deserved it (2268)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

#13615368
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (2492)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by thjeltz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

#13284441
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37867) - you deserved it (4071)

On 10/02/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by notsoonenufdeparted - United States (California)

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

#11117532
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50282) - you deserved it (20656)

On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

#8916810
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9794) - you deserved it (28339)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:14am - love - by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

#7458972
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9121) - you deserved it (26977)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm - work - by PentiumBawls8 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (3806)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States



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