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shutupK

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shutupK

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 781
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About shutupK : Grammar Nazis.... If I had a dick, I'd pull it out and piss on you.

Just kidding I am a grammer Nazi.

KaySL I love you. Boners I hate you. Docbastard my feelings for you are undecided.

I'm sexier than you, and I hate you, so get off my profile now you pathetic excuse for a life.

shutupK's page activity

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shutupK's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shutupK's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you deserved it (8612)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

#18275537
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (6913)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States

Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54121) - you deserved it (3879)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

#17854068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26867) - you deserved it (2008)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by JubileeBee (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (2646)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40998) - you deserved it (5955)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35082) - you deserved it (2721)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

#17015904
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62365) - you deserved it (4973)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by lizownsvirgy - United States (California)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45792) - you deserved it (3792)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14267) - you deserved it (52079)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42628) - you deserved it (9282)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with someone from one of his last relationships because he thought it would turn me on. FML

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12612) - you deserved it (57812)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110381) - you deserved it (15406)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)



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