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shutupK

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shutupK

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 824
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About shutupK : Grammar Nazis.... If I had a dick, I'd pull it out and piss on you.

Just kidding I am a grammer Nazi.

KaySL I love you. Boners I hate you. Docbastard my feelings for you are undecided.

I'm sexier than you, and I hate you, so get off my profile now you pathetic excuse for a life.

shutupK's page activity

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shutupK's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shutupK's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (2574)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

#18871908
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28068) - you deserved it (3996)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

#18869027
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39093) - you deserved it (3590)

On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend we should start seeing other people. She said "Don't worry, I'm already way ahead of you." FML

#18840950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (8956)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:09am - love - by too slow - United States

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28115) - you deserved it (2831)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML

#18822842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32484) - you deserved it (6847)

On 01/16/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29510) - you deserved it (23425)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (8605)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

#18614231
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27715) - you deserved it (2565)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

#18417405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (8627)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (3181)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25097) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43247) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53504) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48726) - you deserved it (3755)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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