Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shutupK

Search for a member

shutupK

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 834
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About shutupK : Grammar Nazis.... If I had a dick, I'd pull it out and piss on you.

Just kidding I am a grammer Nazi.

KaySL I love you. Boners I hate you. Docbastard my feelings for you are undecided.

I'm sexier than you, and I hate you, so get off my profile now you pathetic excuse for a life.

shutupK's page activity

Visits<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:51am<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:15am<b>I_Am_Melanie</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 12:00am<b>BassTurdo</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:34pm<b>x_ms_imperfect_x</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 5:45pm<b>koolkool994</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:25pm<b>hipsterkoala27</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:18pm<b>blutomonkey</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 10:06am<b>Applejack87</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 9:37am<b>bbycks304</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 4:18pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 1:07pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:11pm<b>muchagente</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 2:22pm<b>Daniel_DD32</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 4:23pm<b>Badshah29</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 6:03am<b>ideasrule</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 3:35pm<b>Totodile</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 10:24am<b>krez</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 9:19am

shutupK's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shutupK's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29906) - you deserved it (4701)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43626) - you deserved it (4542)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43626) - you deserved it (4542)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21890) - you deserved it (4343)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21890) - you deserved it (4343)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24742) - you deserved it (5284)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

#18951415
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10668) - you deserved it (42626)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:27am - health - by cbad (woman) - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you deserved it (9642)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

#18943699
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (5097)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

#18943699
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (5097)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (3792)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33291) - you deserved it (3566)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

#18911929
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (5494)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by JMcKay (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

#18904758
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (5916)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:32am - health - by ???? - United States

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

#18903193
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (25651)

On 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm - misc - by me - Canada



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: