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shuttuplily

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shuttuplily
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 March 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 765
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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shuttuplily's favorite FMLs

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (6770)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43225) - you deserved it (25262)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

#3500030
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43821) - you deserved it (7307)

On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13305) - you deserved it (48706)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

#1607608
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14503) - you deserved it (39520)

On 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by Gjkashldf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

#919205
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39595) - you deserved it (4697)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329325) - you deserved it (35705)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69639) - you deserved it (22623)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

#433810
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71863) - you deserved it (9010)

On 03/18/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by lemonjuice (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64703) - you deserved it (26107)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

#137765
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40920) - you deserved it (4773)

On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16198) - you deserved it (43046)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

#9160
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (3991)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:05am - health - by makinascene (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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