shuttuplily

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shuttuplily

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1236
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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shuttuplily's page activity

Visits<b>lVluse</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:44pm<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:51pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:18am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:04pm<b>vetgirl23</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 4:26pm<b>babygrrl257</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:34am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 10:04am<b>prplr</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 3:43pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 1:31pm<b>ottospielen</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 4:59pm

shuttuplily's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shuttuplily's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

by wetboy / 07/05/2009 at 6:07am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why, he said, "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied." FML

by andthatshowitgoes / 06/14/2009 at 1:42am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

by nothing / 05/18/2009 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

by Gjkashldf / 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

by joshinbaltimore / 03/22/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

by lemonjuice / 03/18/2009 at 2:22am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

by Jello / 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

by makinascene / 02/05/2009 at 5:05am / United States (North Carolina) / Health