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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (14796)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (1779)
On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (1929)
On 10/13/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by sillystring (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36845) - you deserved it (2410)
On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33370) - you deserved it (1667)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:16pm - animals - by traumatised (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47198) - you deserved it (23946)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22000) - you deserved it (6960)
On 10/09/2009 at 2:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40784) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9220) - you deserved it (30393)
On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (3673)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (7987)
On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (280)
On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (2439)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41456) - you deserved it (12285)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41351) - you deserved it (5005)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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