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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my MandM's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the MandM off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an MandM. It was a dead beetle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (42396)
On 04/15/2009 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62526) - you deserved it (19513)
On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83708) - you deserved it (6473)
On 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by ThanksMom (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72933) - you deserved it (3552)
On 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by sweet (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (96797)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19046) - you deserved it (53241)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40386) - you deserved it (20784)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40386) - you deserved it (20784)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40386) - you deserved it (20784)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65609) - you deserved it (14295)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (4262)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (4262)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (6089)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)
Today, thinking that I’m alone at work, I start rummaging through my nose trying to find something interesting. It’s only after about a minute that I notice that my boss is looking straight at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6010) - you deserved it (31416)
On 11/07/2008 at 5:10am - work - by JoLaFritte - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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