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shupe27

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shupe27

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  • Number of visits : 47
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shupe27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21888) - you deserved it (4100)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21429) - you deserved it (1483)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (2798)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (2798)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35802) - you deserved it (10439) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21881) - you deserved it (3294)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20434) - you deserved it (5151)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML

#18735409
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8546) - you deserved it (32589)

On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42231) - you deserved it (8110)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53318) - you deserved it (3277)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (9019)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

#14741730
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37869) - you deserved it (8294)

On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41337) - you deserved it (3353)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33427) - you deserved it (4308)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML

#8746322
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (2352)

On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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