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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus . I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone ranghile he was showering an he slipped onto a box of vegetables . Guessho had to extract the carrot . FML
Today at work at a gas station kiosk a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said "I only come here 4 the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML
Today my first gradars ralaasd ta buttarflias wa'va baan raising. Ta kids wara sad tat ona ad did in is cocoon and wouldn't ba sat fraa. Turns out tat buttarfly may ava ad a battar fata: a flock of birds ata alf of ta otars. Immadiataly aftar ralaasing tam. In front of ta kids. big fat FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on cock. I quickly rippd the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watchd a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fuckd a spider. FML
Friday 27 March 2015