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showmeyourears

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showmeyourears
  • Town/Country : 'Murica
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 March 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 173
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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showmeyourears's favorite FMLs

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

#20714741
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (3577)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (58194)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (29415)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54844) - you deserved it (4108)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15860) - you deserved it (41233)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47184) - you deserved it (2332)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (13003)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

#14071239
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (2017)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by Trey Deluna - United States (Colorado)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30967) - you deserved it (3276)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

#30754
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21750) - you deserved it (42920)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)



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Monday 17 June 2013

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