About shortyshort : im in love and i think he likes me back not much too say other than im in soo much love for this guy
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (58043) - you deserved it (5645)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8662) - you deserved it (92602)
On 04/02/2009 at 9:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62475) - you deserved it (116334)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137132) - you deserved it (24576)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (306393) - you deserved it (40882)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61900) - you deserved it (2572)
On 03/19/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by GracelandDave (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (146603)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (146603)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (319634) - you deserved it (66402)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (352097) - you deserved it (66477)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (20754)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44258) - you deserved it (3281)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:14am - work - by Shell (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55241) - you deserved it (215183)
On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML
I agree, your life sucks (68583) - you deserved it (3862)
On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48485) - you deserved it (4332)
On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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