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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41221) - you deserved it (2794)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (1496)
On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to propose to my girlfriend on the Charles Bridge in Prague. A little boy thought it would be fun to chase a flock of pigeons towards me. I freaked out and dropped the 2 carat diamond ring. Into the river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46509) - you deserved it (7585)
On 09/22/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by sadguy (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (9962)
On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I found out that on Wednesday, when I have 2 exams, I'm called to testify in court. If I go to court, I cannot make the exams. If I take the exams, I'll be held in contempt and arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (4156)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by livin (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my ex bought a digital camera, an iPod, and a large flat-screen TV, all purchased with the alimony I'm paying him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (5675)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Goodie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19013) - you deserved it (5513)
On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (2825)
On 09/03/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (1967)
On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11152) - you deserved it (43273)
On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42557) - you deserved it (1627)
On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13199) - you deserved it (37288)
On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57956) - you deserved it (3582)
On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44824) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (5243)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by singlesoon (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Monday 20 May 2013
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