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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (2073)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France
Today, I logged onto Facebook with a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14850) - you deserved it (4143)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by iamshrimpy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20082) - you deserved it (3124)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20910) - you deserved it (9433)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (9092)
On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11361) - you deserved it (3249)
On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11361) - you deserved it (3249)
On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (2718)
On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (1339)
On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10731) - you deserved it (30217)
On 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13516) - you deserved it (2866)
On 12/09/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by dfkjhregoiuberiug (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8966) - you deserved it (17999)
On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (1440)
On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31641) - you deserved it (1907)
On 12/04/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by tawan - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14837) - you deserved it (66492)
On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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