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Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (107256) - you totally deserved it (27580)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64323) - you totally deserved it (5292)
On 03/31/2009 at 11:35am - intimacy - by CBBP (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65141) - you totally deserved it (8401)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you totally deserved it (8180)
On 03/29/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my over-protective mom decided to do a blacklight test on my room to make sure I wasn't doing the naughty in my bed. The bed was clean. My face wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31661) - you totally deserved it (70606)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:11am - intimacy - by crzyl8buddhist (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (68232) - you totally deserved it (11204)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9143) - you totally deserved it (47697)
On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66639) - you totally deserved it (17757)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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