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shoobers's favorite FMLs
by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by okeythen / 06/30/2013 at 1:03am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML
by blahblah / 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by theunluckylifeofme / 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML
by Kn0wledge123 / 06/26/2013 at 1:27am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML
by dan / 06/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
by I hate my job / 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm / United States / Work
- Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she… Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me… Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused,…