shockwave259

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shockwave259

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 795
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shockwave259's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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shockwave259's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after being with my boyfriend for seven years, he finally proposed. To another woman. FML

by onthemarket / 09/08/2010 at 3:46pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2010 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

by Kelli / 08/28/2010 at 12:56am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML

by wearingshorts / 08/28/2010 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 4:15am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

by bevo / 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

by Joel / 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

by counselor / 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

by AlexaSt2611 / 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm / Paraguay (Central) / Intimacy

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his Grandparents house. It said 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and tooth brushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

by DyingOfShame / 08/24/2010 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

by concusion / 08/23/2010 at 5:03am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

by FreeToFly3733 / 08/19/2010 at 7:25am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Geek

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

by Jordid / 08/19/2010 at 12:12am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

by hobosarea-holes / 08/14/2010 at 7:10pm / United States (New York) / Work