Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shockwave259

Search for a member

shockwave259

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 667
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

shockwave259's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of shockwave259's badges

shockwave259's favorite FMLs

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24100) - you deserved it (29209)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

#13274017
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (4290)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a strip tease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels and tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

#13272334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24309) - you deserved it (8272)

On 10/01/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (4850)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML

#13260276
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (2739)

On 09/30/2010 at 4:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16842) - you deserved it (38772)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (3015)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (3015)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to get over my childhood phobia of syringes by donating blood. The phlebotomist hadn't even touched the needle before I started sobbing hysterically. They made me leave. FML

#13219092
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19607) - you deserved it (12164)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35973) - you deserved it (4106)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7578) - you deserved it (72060)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

#13094289
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (2974)

On 09/18/2010 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (7380)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

#13042004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (4064)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: