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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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shirvon100

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shirvon100
  • Town/Country : ft myers, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 February 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 6329
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About shirvon100 : my life suks at times but is overall livable

shirvon100's last visitors

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shirvon100's favorite FMLs

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (8590)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (24052)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

#5925433 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (4589)

On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

#5919547 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (16307)

On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66553) - you deserved it (9418)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (1959)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at soccer camp and was hit in the face with a ball. I walked to the nurse and asked for a napkin or tissues to help stop the bleeding. The only thing she could come up with? A tampon. I spent 20 minutes with a tampon shoved up my nostril in front of my laughing teammates. FML

#5804485 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (18151) - you deserved it (2247)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (59775) - you deserved it (4655)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

#4272437 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (10680) - you deserved it (35816)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML

#4256639 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (42909) - you deserved it (4661)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (52650) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to change things up by having sex on her trampoline in her backyard. After about an hour of some of the best sex I've ever had, my girlfriend turns to me and says "I hope my dad didn't see us." He was out there mowing the lawn. FML

#4216257 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (13516) - you deserved it (45025)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by jumper243 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087 (411)

I agree, your life sucks (56417) - you deserved it (11333)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML

#4178652 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (6825) - you deserved it (40796)

On 07/31/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by EmBAREassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML

#4159325 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (4699)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by VelocityMary (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew