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shirtlesshippie

Offline (the 10/07/2014 at 6:36am) | Search for a member

shirtlesshippie

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  • Number of visits : 85
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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shirtlesshippie's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of shirtlesshippie's badges

shirtlesshippie's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67077) - you deserved it (7912)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (2738)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

#20009087
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30043) - you deserved it (3997)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24740) - you deserved it (10237)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13354) - you deserved it (54618) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33332) - you deserved it (3568)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (44845)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38258) - you deserved it (21784)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34177) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (11848)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35189) - you deserved it (2008)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

#5959934
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50534) - you deserved it (9933)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ashleyramsay (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML

#3799208
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9510) - you deserved it (54225)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

#553783
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98556) - you deserved it (10332)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML

#249220
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (11667)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Abandoned (man) - United States (California)



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