Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shike1988

Online | Search for a member

shike1988

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 183
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

shike1988's page activity

Visits<b>1992yoko</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:10am

shike1988's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of shike1988's badges

shike1988's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

#21425895
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28191) - you deserved it (2968)

On 06/14/2015 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

#21424976
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (4507)

On 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by poor baby - Germany

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (4215)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (3026)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

#21377510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124) - you deserved it (45430)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by copycat - United States (California)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25924) - you deserved it (6893)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39204) - you deserved it (3345)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18202) - you deserved it (26488)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30008) - you deserved it (5735)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33277) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: