shift_love

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shift_love

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3540
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About shift_love : I'm old Greg.

shift_love's page activity

Visits<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 12:54pm<b>anjie_mackney</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 3:16pm<b>blaze17</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 4:47pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 5:41am<b>queen_jae614</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:35pm<b>Someonesaveus</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:13am<b>bolee997</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 5:57am<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:15pm<b>lost1997</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 8:15pm<b>meganhoffmann13</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 11:20pm<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 5:42pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:15pm<b>citrusglass</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:49pm<b>YourGrammarSucks</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:03am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:33am<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:35am<b>momo3p</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:06am<b>KneeJerker</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:47am

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 6:54pm<b>blaze17</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 10:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:09pm

shift_love's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of shift_love's badges

shift_love's favorite FMLs

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

by -_- / 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML

by Kramer / 02/16/2012 at 7:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

by 11niko / 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

by pirsquared / 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 11:45am / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy