Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shift_love

Search for a member

shift_love

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3114
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About shift_love : I'm old Greg.

shift_love's page activity

Visits<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:01am<b>kittyisbaeornaw</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:48pm<b>VirtualZircon</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 10:22am<b>GalaxyShots</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:13pm<b>IronicLights</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:25am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:45pm<b>4ddtnof40801</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:54pm<b>soccergirl2016</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:59am<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 12:32am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:09pm<b>baka4815</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:19pm<b>ashieee143</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:35pm<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:46am<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:16pm<b>Kevin_shifu</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:15am<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:25pm<b>TroubleWithStich</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:10pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:09pm

shift_love's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of shift_love's badges

shift_love's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

#20043524
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (2200)

On 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59255) - you deserved it (10969)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21254) - you deserved it (3553)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41132) - you deserved it (3887)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18546) - you deserved it (60211)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27559) - you deserved it (3919)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (6457)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

#19480957
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24611) - you deserved it (6942)

On 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (3072)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (6425)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

#19449601
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (5121)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86903) - you deserved it (4271)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27516) - you deserved it (9619)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23339) - you deserved it (9530)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

#19372979
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (1985)

On 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by rusrs - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: