About shift_love : I'm old Greg.
shift_love's FML badges
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
shift_love's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy
by zombieguyswife / 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
by k / 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Transportation
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by winnerwinner / 05/02/2012 at 11:46am / United States / Intimacy
by anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by jesifairy / 04/13/2012 at 12:46am / Australia / Love
by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love
by IloveJapan / 04/02/2012 at 10:02am / Japan / Love
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML
by rusrs / 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…
- Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm… Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys… Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML