shift_love

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shift_love

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3905
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About shift_love : I'm old Greg.

shift_love's page activity

Visits<b>OriginalAlowee</b> - 7 minutes ago<b>Galaythius</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 6:57pm<b>meilzz</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 8:42am<b>LadyAthena</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 2:42pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 4:25am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 12:12am<b>Toby13</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 4:05am<b>DaveCorgan</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 10:44pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 9:27am<b>whosthedeadone</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 10:33pm<b>anjie_mackney</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 3:16pm<b>blaze17</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 4:47pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 5:41am<b>queen_jae614</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:35pm<b>Someonesaveus</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:13am<b>bolee997</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 5:57am<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:15pm<b>lost1997</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 8:15pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 6:54pm<b>blaze17</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 10:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:09pm

shift_love's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of shift_love's badges

shift_love's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Love

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

by movingout / 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

by MT / 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm / Finland / Love

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy