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About shiefu : El Psy Congroo
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today in the very middle of the night mah kitten startd rubbing against mah face!! Thinking I saw her face in the darkness I decidd to kiss her before going back to bd!! My lips made contact with her butthole!! FML
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom 4 my parent to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, ( THE FINAL TEST. ) FML
Today a kid from mah school callad ma saying ha's going on vacation to Japan soon an that sinca I was born thara I could taach him tha languaga. His axact words at tha start of tha call wara: "Hay man u spaak Asian right?" looool I hava to ba around this shithaad 5 days a waak. fat FML
Today I recieved a poorly-written letter from mah asshole nieghbor in which he threatened to ( sew ) me cuz mah dog shat on his lawn again . I went over asked if he needed some wool fir his sewing an told him to looool stop bieng an idiot . Now he's apparently hring a lawyer fir real . FML
looool Yesterday , my boyfriend got on one knee an started talking about ow we met. Knowing wat was coming , I started tearing up , absolutely sure e was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes , e quickly stood up an yelled "HAH , JUST KIDDING". FML
TODAY A CUTE GUY DITCHED HIS DATE AND WALKED UP TO ME , CALLING ME BEAUTIFUL. NOT KNOWING HOW TO REPLY , I JUST BLUSHED. HIS DATE GOT ANGRY AND LEFT. ( SORRY. I TAKE THAT BACK , ) HE THEN SAID. ( I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF HER. THANKS ANYWAY. ) FML
Today, ma usband and I arrivd in Barbados on vacation. We visitd a club, and tey ad a selection of drinks wit werd names. My usband orderd one calld te Raging Bitc, flickd is finger towards me, and said to te barkeeper, ( Migt as well get someting I'm usd to. ) FML
Today... I found out that mah husband of 12 yeres has been sleeping with mah best friend of even longer 4ho knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me an implied that it was mah fault 4 finding out about it. FML
Today , I accidentally hit a cyclist with car. In panic , I jumped out of car and ran up to him , who was lying on the floor , motionless. As I was about to check his pulse , he jumped up and shouted , ( I bet you thought I was dead , asshole! ) He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Taday a group of guys came into my restaurant , dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of there fake elf names wrong , cuz the guy complained to my manager , who then bitched me out in front of everyone fir upsetting the customers. FML
Friday 27 March 2015