About shibainu519 : Hi! :D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me "when" so I replied "...towards the end". I didn't realize she was really asking what day this happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10691) - you deserved it (46872)
On 06/01/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53441) - you deserved it (2616)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (190138)
On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (215887) - you deserved it (97194)
On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42848) - you deserved it (16228)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (60210) - you deserved it (6124)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12012) - you deserved it (40098)
On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63071) - you deserved it (4637)
On 05/14/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by bettycrocker (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47468) - you deserved it (11402)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97854) - you deserved it (8097)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51883) - you deserved it (2144)
On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79927) - you deserved it (3525)
On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62973) - you deserved it (33500)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62973) - you deserved it (33500)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11365) - you deserved it (60007)
On 05/06/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by ElamentalAngel - United Kingdom
Monday 17 June 2013
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