About shibainu519 : Hi! :D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6114) - you deserved it (72765)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60716) - you deserved it (8174)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60716) - you deserved it (8174)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46149) - you deserved it (6115)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56287) - you deserved it (26171)
On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57322) - you deserved it (9129)
On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48285) - you deserved it (1462)
On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59555) - you deserved it (12170)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6045) - you deserved it (83818)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my dad asked me if i started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later he finds my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5005) - you deserved it (88509)
On 07/27/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by bbbeast (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, my dad asked me if i started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later he finds my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5005) - you deserved it (88509)
On 07/27/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by bbbeast (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5660) - you deserved it (63101)
On 07/17/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11512) - you deserved it (58223)
On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69144) - you deserved it (2808)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (103285) - you deserved it (3353)
On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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