Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shibainu519

Search for a member

shibainu519
  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 30025
  • Number of comments : 126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About shibainu519 : Hi! :D

shibainu519's last visitors

DeadPixel4LaserbeaverBloinkRoseBlack123AZdabest17dylannn14shaneneraphanneRedPillSucksGive_Linux_A_Go

shibainu519's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shibainu519's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30331) - you deserved it (15738)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

#5773283
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (2600)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by PackingSpaceHeat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

#5537780
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32077) - you deserved it (1734)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

#5408383
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (2203)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

#5346729
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55797) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by asthmasucks (man) - United States (California)

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

#5346729
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55797) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by asthmasucks (man) - United States (California)

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

#5187639
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44731) - you deserved it (2306)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45257) - you deserved it (1945)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML

#5086077
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66331) - you deserved it (5675)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm - love - by mandinga (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63811) - you deserved it (2485)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (332413)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

#4876384
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35942) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48340) - you deserved it (2963)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

#4685696
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48191) - you deserved it (33831)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7241) - you deserved it (73129)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: