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shepaintsmusic's favorite FMLs
by Shepaintsmusic / 12/29/2010 at 1:50am / Health
Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
by coinoperatedgirl / 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Tonya / 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 7:13am / Switzerland (Bern) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
by penguinsfan / 05/16/2009 at 10:47am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by stpdaziandude / 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML
by TMI / 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
- Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told… Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first… Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started…