[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

shepaintsmusic

Search for a member

shepaintsmusic
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 June 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 484
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About shepaintsmusic : I am a female musican and artist. I am also a Zelda geek. I've been dealing in Antiques since i was little. And I totally go rockabilly. In other words I'm going to be cocky and say I'm freaking awesome. I have a deformity. Birth defect, amnotic band syndrome. I generally hate television, but I Looooooooooooove the show oddities mostly due to a connection to someone on it. I am obsessed with Jim Morrison, Nikki Sixx, Kurt Cobain, all four beatles, Andy Warhol, Janis Joplin, Cristina Scabbia, Imelda May, Tarja Turunen, Trent Reznor and well more. But mostly Jim Morrison! :D Not that anyone cares :D

shepaintsmusic's last visitors

FreezePrincess_D33FarionAero25KeevarouDoortjeRedPillSuckssweet_candy_HelldemonVincentsmit11

shepaintsmusic's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

shepaintsmusic's favorite FMLs

Today, an antiques dealer made a joke about chopping off and buying my deformed left hand. FML

#14377623 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (20642) - you deserved it (1630)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Shepaintsmusic -

Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML

#13145609 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (4081)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

#7264134 (369)

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (6759)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (2173)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (2897)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

#3288999 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (5222)

On 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by Tonya (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (67616)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463 (803)

I agree, your life sucks (17353) - you deserved it (171861)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68943) - you deserved it (32612)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

#1975711 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (11802) - you deserved it (36034)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by penguinsfan (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (61380) - you deserved it (32560)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (84876) - you deserved it (4267)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (57263) - you deserved it (14847)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (114334)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (523)

I agree, your life sucks (249171) - you deserved it (34312)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)