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shellykjelly

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shellykjelly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1144
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shellykjelly's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - yesterday at 10:04am<b>clevergirl98</b> - yesterday at 8:27am<b>candygirl2015</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:22am<b>AllGoodNamesGone</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 10:34am<b>Deniedmydignity</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 1:49pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:25pm<b>photographer49</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 1:09pm<b>skeletcn</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:59am<b>Dramori</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:50am<b>StressedDesserts</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:13pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 1:18am<b>Lanker</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 2:40am<b>CrowleysDemon</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:13pm<b>GoshDude1352</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:36pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 10:18pm<b>freakyfriday101</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:37am<b>cdalton</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:45pm<b>shyvante21</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:56pm

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shellykjelly's favorite FMLs

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31940) - you deserved it (4450)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

#21399622
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (2272)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (2425)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (2425)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22568) - you deserved it (30044)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28099) - you deserved it (16590)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14705) - you deserved it (37462)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

#21388506
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26585) - you deserved it (3141)

On 04/06/2015 at 7:44am - animals - by tannerrosetx_1 - United States (Texas)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26277) - you deserved it (5200)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

#21384560
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/31/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

#21383476
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30986) - you deserved it (2705)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:54am - kids - by M.SHUKRI - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27813) - you deserved it (2407)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (2777)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (2520)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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