shellykjelly

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Offline (the 11/25/2016 at 7:20am)

shellykjelly

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2710
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shellykjelly's page activity

Visits<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 11:30pm<b>camelopardalisx</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:11pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 5:42pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 9:11pm<b>CoolNoodle</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 3:00pm<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 2:01am<b>mineller</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:15pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:28pm<b>914smv</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 6:28pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:43am<b>kaet</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:33am<b>nominaski</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:40pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:16pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:58pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:37pm<b>swishy25</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:48pm

Fucked!<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:01am<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:08am<b>Twill3422</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:13am<b>mewtwonow</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:10am<b>MisterEx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:15pm

shellykjelly's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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shellykjelly's favorite FMLs

Today, after discussing having our son's hair styled nicely for school, my ex returns him with his head shaved. I didn't realise bald was in style for 4-year-olds. FML

by children ain't pawns / 11/21/2016 at 10:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I was walking to a bathroom on campus before class when my professor walked in behind me. There were two urinals in the bathroom, we walked right up next to each other and unzipped our pants in unison. It became so awkward for me, I actually said out loud, "Nope, too awkward" and left. FML

by beetregeneration / 11/16/2016 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I bought myself a new perfume. Now, there's a sulky husband lying next to me in bed who can't get it up because I smell like his mum. FML

by moose / 11/14/2016 at 2:17pm / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

by oped01 / 10/17/2016 at 8:15pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, the store I work at got shut down and I got let go. Three days ago I got a promotion and a raise. FML

by unemployed / 10/17/2016 at 8:05pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I turned on my furnace when I got home from work for the first time this season. Only problem? Cats. Our kitten Norman has never heard a furnace in his life and Noel has just forgotten what a furnace sounds like. Both cats are terrified and won't stop yelping. I just want to sleep. FML

by chrisinator / 10/11/2016 at 12:21am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

by Alyssa / 09/21/2016 at 3:17am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

by Gas-pingForAir / 09/19/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I found out that apparently the pipes for my toilet were never connected, so anything you flush just falls out onto the basement floor downstairs. I've lived here 4 years. FML

by Loose Ends / 09/14/2016 at 7:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML

by Sadmom / 09/13/2016 at 10:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML

by 4fingerdiscount / 09/13/2016 at 7:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my workplace instituted a policy in which employees must stop and write down what they are doing every fifteen minutes. FML

by Gottabekidding / 09/08/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, after attending lectures for months, studying for weeks, and spending hours writing a 15-page research paper, I was informed that due to technological issues during registration, I was not enrolled in the class. FML

by mermaidkeels / 09/08/2016 at 12:54am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML

by nevaagain / 08/19/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML

by Innocent / 08/18/2016 at 7:03pm / New Zealand / Transportation