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shellykjelly

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shellykjelly

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1896
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shellykjelly's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:28pm<b>914smv</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 6:28pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:43am<b>camelopardalisx</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 11:57am<b>kaet</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:33am<b>nominaski</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:40pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:16pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:58pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:37pm<b>ginnylin</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:00pm<b>swishy25</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:48pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:26pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 9:16am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:22am<b>Twill3422</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:55am<b>mewtwonow</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 3:28pm

Fucked!<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:08am<b>Twill3422</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:13am<b>mewtwonow</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:10am<b>MisterEx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:15pm

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shellykjelly's favorite FMLs

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

#21512914
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23572) - you deserved it (2096)

On 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm - love - by fuglymug (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

#21510516
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (3462)

On 01/02/2016 at 3:25am - kids - by me - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

#21508382
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (1648)

On 12/27/2015 at 12:31pm - love - by _schaden_freude - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

#21490307
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/09/2015 at 9:07am - misc - by Quendolin - Germany

Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML

#21489040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (1993)

On 11/05/2015 at 11:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML

#21488843
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (1401)

On 11/05/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by fijiflu (woman) -

Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML

#21487037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28951) - you deserved it (1443)

On 11/01/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by sabotaged - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she has decided to become a stay-at-home mom for our dog. FML

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

#21469071
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (4281)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:53am - misc - by BlueMacaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML

#21468899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27999) - you deserved it (1403)

On 09/15/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Stairs? Noooooo - United States (California)

Today, I decided to give a break to my students halfway through my 3 hour lecture. The break became the end of the lecture, because nobody came back. FML

#21468850
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (4392)

On 09/15/2015 at 4:40pm - work - by MedHistory - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was let go from my dream job for requesting Photoshop as well as Illustrator. I was hired to create marketing materials. Guess I should have just used Paint. FML

#21466351
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23176) - you deserved it (1522)

On 09/08/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by :'( - United States (California)

Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML

#21464688
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (8493)

On 09/04/2015 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (2042)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)



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