shellykjelly

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shellykjelly

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2466
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shellykjelly's page activity

Visits<b>camelopardalisx</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:11pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 5:42pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 9:11pm<b>CoolNoodle</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 3:00pm<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 2:01am<b>mineller</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:15pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:28pm<b>914smv</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 6:28pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:43am<b>kaet</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:33am<b>nominaski</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:40pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:16pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:58pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:37pm<b>swishy25</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:48pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:26pm

Fucked!<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:01am<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:08am<b>Twill3422</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:13am<b>mewtwonow</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:10am<b>MisterEx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:15pm

shellykjelly's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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shellykjelly's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML

by nevaagain / 08/19/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML

by Innocent / 08/18/2016 at 7:03pm / New Zealand / Transportation

Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML

by LoveStinks / 08/18/2016 at 6:56am / Love

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

by Ummm / 08/03/2016 at 3:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I got my giant Game of Thrones tattoo finished. Despite the fact that I had spelt it out for him, the artist wrote 'You no nothing John Snow'. It's the focal part of the tattoo. FML

by Heknowsnothing / 07/13/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my friend I'm going vegetarian. He's now calling me "Reek" after the guy from Game of Thrones, because I'm apparently a "dickless loser" now. FML

by Reek / 06/22/2016 at 10:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, like every other day, my roommate's alarm began to go off at 7:30am. What time does she have to wake up? 10:00am. Why does she have her alarm go off for two and a half hours? Because last semester she needed it to go off then and she is too lazy to change it. FML

by fckdorms / 05/09/2016 at 10:04am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the local clinic and I met a really cute guy. We hit it off quite well, and he asked me out. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but instead of cancer, we have STDs. FML

by dvddtraveller / 04/22/2016 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML

by tittyboomboom / 03/24/2016 at 9:16am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML

by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love

Today, in history class I was called "ignorant" and "inconsiderate" because I referred to Stalin as a "he". FML

by Puddlepop / 03/01/2016 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my parents got married on their second date because they were mildly intoxicated, bored and wanted something to do. FML

by bxilee / 02/27/2016 at 9:48pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband, who has been in a coma for 5 weeks, woke up. When I went to visit him, the first thing he did was try and continue the argument we had been having before he crashed the car. FML

by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, while doing the grocery shopping with my boyfriend we came across another woman also out shopping, who looked shockingly like me despite her being another race, hair color and the like. The second he saw her, he blurted out, ''Oh, it's a pretty version of you!'' FML

by FuglyBetty / 02/24/2016 at 5:48pm / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous