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shellykjelly

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shellykjelly

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1060
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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shellykjelly's page activity

Visits<b>AllGoodNamesGone</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Deniedmydignity</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 1:49pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:25pm<b>photographer49</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 1:09pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:58pm<b>skeletcn</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:59am<b>Dramori</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:50am<b>StressedDesserts</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:13pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 1:18am<b>Lanker</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 2:40am<b>CrowleysDemon</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:13pm<b>GoshDude1352</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:36pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 10:18pm<b>freakyfriday101</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:37am<b>cdalton</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:45pm<b>shyvante21</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:56pm<b>CrystalCrew124</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 4:50pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:55am

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shellykjelly's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11859) - you deserved it (1023)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24185) - you deserved it (2491)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22893) - you deserved it (2257)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (2097)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30427) - you deserved it (6237)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. FML

#21373611
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (2519)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:21am - work - by hard work doesn't work - United States (Texas)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32515) - you deserved it (3026)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

#21145745
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43971) - you deserved it (4313)

On 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by SmittyJA24 - United States (Idaho)

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44122) - you deserved it (7231)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

#21090227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33522) - you deserved it (7200)

On 03/18/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by holyshitsnacks - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40085) - you deserved it (11122)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)



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