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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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shayyyyy

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shayyyyy
  • Town/Country : Kapolei
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 February 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 722
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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shayyyyy's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

#12364417 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (4820)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:21am - love - by Hunterxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

#12326152 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (5537) - you deserved it (28067)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Somethingswrongwiththispic (woman) - United States

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

#12061995 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (2713)

On 07/23/2010 at 9:18am - animals - by areyouserious (woman) - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

#12000317 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (7692) - you deserved it (26976)

On 07/20/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Lana (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (9528) - you deserved it (31173)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I must be the only person who has been taking the contraceptive pill for six years without ever needing to use it as a contraceptive. FML

#11848854 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (23175) - you deserved it (6374)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:27am - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

#11846185 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (10268) - you deserved it (25691)

On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (14139) - you deserved it (1491)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had pancakes for breakfast, and without realizing it, I got syrup in my hair. After breakfast, I went to straighten my hair, only to burn the syrup and have it get stuck in my hair. There was no time to shower and it smelled. FML

#8716792 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you deserved it (12114)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:10pm - misc - by maddy - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (5054) - you deserved it (17687)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my managers at work asked me to carrying our new Frappe machine to front counter for assembling. Being 5 months pregnant, I explained to her I am unable to safely lift more than 20-30lbs. I was then fired and told that I shouldn't use being pregnant as an excuse to not work. FML

#7178040 (326)

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (2873)

On 01/06/2010 at 6:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

#7077814 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (23315) - you deserved it (2620)

On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU". It really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (17274) - you deserved it (7684)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

#6512004 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (8358)

On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

#6436100 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (7625) - you deserved it (21000)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)