Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shaww

Online | Search for a member

shaww

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3108
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About shaww : Just a simple guy. I'm a senior in high school, I am a grammar nazi... so beware.
Wanna know me? Message me

shaww's page activity

Visits<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:44am<b>ToriKay17</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 9:46pm<b>bmon</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:28pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:23am<b>Shakazulu1216</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>DSilver1988</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:58pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:01pm<b>3051628</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:33am<b>gurbism</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:51am<b>nickd9</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:47am<b>BlazerFire</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Faballz</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:16pm<b>mahughes</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:20pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:26am<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:20pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:28am<b>FATTY_MCDOOGLE</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:19pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:21am

shaww's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of shaww's badges

shaww's favorite FMLs

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48876) - you deserved it (4183)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend interrupted my proposal to take a selfie with the ice cream I had just bought her. She then said no. FML

#21227229
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52004) - you deserved it (5914)

On 08/02/2014 at 12:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54379) - you deserved it (3665)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56606) - you deserved it (41768)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51371) - you deserved it (4207)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51481) - you deserved it (3576)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58119) - you deserved it (7224)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42453) - you deserved it (7015)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38520) - you deserved it (5703)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55790) - you deserved it (10979)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44210) - you deserved it (4220)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40451) - you deserved it (6422)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44306) - you deserved it (8286)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (6124)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: