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shauntaem's FML badges
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shauntaem's favorite FMLs
Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 1:41am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by cheated / 03/11/2010 at 7:50am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by StretchNuts / 03/11/2010 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
by cmore / 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/07/2010 at 9:08am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML
by ICantBelieveThis / 03/06/2010 at 9:31am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
by anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 1:10am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 5:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by fml1977 / 03/04/2010 at 1:43am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML
by ryan and Zack / 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML
by creditwhore / 02/24/2010 at 2:13pm / United States (Missouri) / Money
Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML
by kiki / 02/24/2010 at 12:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart.… Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on… Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML