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shaun54937

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shaun54937
  • Town/Country : china town, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 200
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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shaun54937's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45251) - you deserved it (8510)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45664) - you deserved it (7507)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47187) - you deserved it (6164)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47869) - you deserved it (10274)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (3008)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (17619)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (3369)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31983) - you deserved it (13546)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

#18525865
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (11561)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32921) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33873) - you deserved it (18244)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (39190)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12973) - you deserved it (40576)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (34471)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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