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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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shannanigans

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shannanigans
  • Town/Country : Downers Grove, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 May 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 26727
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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shannanigans's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433 (377)

I agree, your life sucks (45399) - you deserved it (20573)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (13495)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was cleaning my old neighbor's bathroom, because he asked me to and I didn't want to be rude. Plus, I was getting paid. He told me to "get the floor pearly white." So I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. Turns out the floor tiles are naturally a dull yellowish. I didn't get paid. FML

#3781020 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (3795)

On 07/15/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by ughhh123456789 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (39566) - you deserved it (7625)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

#2067937 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (60656) - you deserved it (2411)

On 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by KarlwithaK (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (63471) - you deserved it (2591)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

#1274514 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (36763) - you deserved it (1872)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by pleasebackintomycaragain (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

#1259659 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (12961) - you deserved it (35161)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (75449) - you deserved it (11393)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (76523) - you deserved it (5388)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (16283)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40703) - you deserved it (114327)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228736) - you deserved it (19505)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)