About shanemaximo : I enjoy cock fighting, illegal offshore gambling, illegal INshore gambling, alcohol and very soft linens.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (6981)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (1904)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14242) - you deserved it (6103)
On 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (2003)
On 01/02/2012 at 8:18am - misc - by jku (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (10254)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (1660)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36105) - you deserved it (7002)
On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15987) - you deserved it (2489)
On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States
Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (2095)
On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States
Today, my mom asked me to help pick out clothes for my grandma to wear in her casket. I didn't know she'd died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25600) - you deserved it (1933)
On 12/29/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by naomids (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24097) - you deserved it (15848)
On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (6978)
On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa
Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (3356)
On 12/21/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by cmolloy - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37032) - you deserved it (4535)
On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (4973)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Monday 17 June 2013
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