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shamonia

Offline (the 06/30/2015 at 8:01pm) | Search for a member

shamonia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 340
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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shamonia's page activity

Visits<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:43am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:21pm<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:08pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 5:41pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 4:25am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:26am<b>shortnsweet00</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:24am<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:12pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:24pm

shamonia's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of shamonia's badges

shamonia's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (3123)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33870) - you deserved it (3425)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33915) - you deserved it (5484)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35920) - you deserved it (4092)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32564) - you deserved it (3050)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

#21295289
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (3835)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:31am - misc - by analgirl (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41578) - you deserved it (3798)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32404) - you deserved it (3385)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43920) - you deserved it (6245)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52995) - you deserved it (9049)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

#21238842
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40590) - you deserved it (5212)

On 08/16/2014 at 8:10am - misc - by Jenn (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (2584)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML

#21230826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36155) - you deserved it (3866)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:34am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44649) - you deserved it (7109)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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