Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shameless58

Search for a member

shameless58

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 758
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About shameless58 : Im fuckin awesome!

shameless58's page activity

Visits<b>groovy579</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:00pm

shameless58's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shameless58's favorite FMLs

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17952) - you deserved it (85351)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML

#122747
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (51351)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11198) - you deserved it (41007)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

#10978
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8102) - you deserved it (48317)

On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34336) - you deserved it (59933)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46290) - you deserved it (13976)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10013) - you deserved it (55107)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (5978)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (295226) - you deserved it (28412)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: