Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shameless58

Search for a member

shameless58
  • Town/Country : Middletown, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 584
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About shameless58 : Im fuckin awesome!

shameless58's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shameless58's favorite FMLs

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16395) - you deserved it (80957)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML

#122747
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15821) - you deserved it (43322)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7946) - you deserved it (32299)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

#10978
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6026) - you deserved it (37974)

On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (55618)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43974) - you deserved it (13048)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8215) - you deserved it (49336)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266262) - you deserved it (23305)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: