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Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you totally deserved it (6893)
On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at a store and came across a Halloween candy isle. I got so excited that I began talking to the candy, in a fake British accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4170) - you totally deserved it (24005)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by mojozk (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while meeting guys from my dad's work, they told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you totally deserved it (3798)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you totally deserved it (3618)
On 10/02/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5163) - you totally deserved it (40265)
On 09/29/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was chastised by the CEO in the middle of a management meeting for showing up late to work every day, despite being in my office before 9:00am every morning. It was my 5th day on the job and no one had bothered to tell me that the office opens at 8:00am, and not 9:00am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9070) - you totally deserved it (21779)
On 09/29/2009 at 1:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I wrote to the guy whom I am in love with how I feel about him. He was very calm and told me to give him some time to think it over. Later in the day, I found out he blocked my number and rejected me on facebook. But, the worse part is he then texted me saying "This is my reply". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you totally deserved it (2386)
On 09/26/2009 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24296) - you totally deserved it (9711)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by looking (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you totally deserved it (2935)
On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26882) - you totally deserved it (1522)
On 09/06/2009 at 12:03am - health - by DrunkenValor (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42505) - you totally deserved it (3673)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States
Today, my mom, sister, and I were talking about a friend's girlfriend. My sister's opinion of her was that she was cute but not hot. My mom agreed, saying that she didn't think that someone without boobs could EVER be hot. She then looked at me and said "no offense." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32016) - you totally deserved it (1539)
On 06/29/2009 at 7:07pm - misc - by Atomic_Tangerine (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, a car floated slowly into my lane from the left with no signal. She gazed at the right turn like it was going to kiss her. "What the FUCK, lady?" I shouted, slamming on my brakes. Two seconds later I hear a tiny voice in my back seat, "What fut, YADY?!" My 22 month old son's first full sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12655) - you totally deserved it (39571)
On 06/22/2009 at 1:30am - kids - by ObeyTheFist (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I spent the entire morning downloading a 600 megabyte computer game. I will be spending the entire night fighting a 600 megabyte computer virus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10816) - you totally deserved it (47450)
On 06/13/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by SJcomp (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first random girl he saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49108) - you totally deserved it (4298)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
