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shakiam014

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 7:37pm) | Search for a member

shakiam014

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 186
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About shakiam014 : There is not much to me but bad puns and disappointment.

shakiam014's page activity

Visits<b>Nordrag</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:41am<b>ronak</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:20am<b>depressingbunny</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:00pm<b>Wyaru</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:53am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:22am<b>tartar18</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:04am<b>TheBrightSide00</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:19am<b>nestor666</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:09am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:47am<b>rustydiamonds</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:08am<b>the_real_dvd</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:15am<b>capthigh</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:05am<b>GuntherRocks</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:33pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:44pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:39pm<b>lvchick2012</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:05pm<b>s0me1ne</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:02pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:30pm

shakiam014's FML badges

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of shakiam014's badges

shakiam014's favorite FMLs

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34731) - you deserved it (7753)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML

#21252828
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (6064)

On 09/06/2014 at 2:11am - work - by fastfoodslave (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33843) - you deserved it (15947)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (8002)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42663) - you deserved it (5228)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48902) - you deserved it (2458)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

#21250632
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (3122)

On 09/02/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (7773)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32855) - you deserved it (2777)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35415) - you deserved it (4679)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (34014)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (42256)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40998) - you deserved it (4798)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (5513)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46523) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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