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shakeTHEworld

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shakeTHEworld
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 829
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About shakeTHEworld : Take care of the John Smith that would shake the world!

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shakeTHEworld's favorite FMLs

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28367) - you deserved it (18416)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33883) - you deserved it (3431)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

#20409320
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33509) - you deserved it (8678)

On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

#17246685
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26904) - you deserved it (3358)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by 88_OP (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

#17245235
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (2170)

On 07/24/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8855) - you deserved it (28248)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

#17090156
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (7980)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19991) - you deserved it (13494)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17688) - you deserved it (48494)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (21187)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17453) - you deserved it (43645)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

#17074594
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33109) - you deserved it (8770)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by _Emilyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (47519)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML

#17065483
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37250) - you deserved it (4772)

On 07/11/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by illenram06 - Philippines (Roxas)

Today, it's my birthday. The present I received from my best friend was the exact same necklace which I gave to her for her birthday two months ago. It had been unwrapped and re-wrapped in the same paper. FML

#17063593
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31773) - you deserved it (3508)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by Vic (woman) - Denmark



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