About shakeTHEworld : Take care of the John Smith that would shake the world!
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Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (14160)
On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia
Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (3151)
On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (8611)
On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (2540)
On 07/24/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by 88_OP (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24443) - you deserved it (1619)
On 07/24/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8737) - you deserved it (27784)
On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (6651)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17222) - you deserved it (12112)
On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16528) - you deserved it (39252)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (16291)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17148) - you deserved it (43082)
On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (7032)
On 07/12/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by _Emilyy - United States (Illinois)
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10275) - you deserved it (38873)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36583) - you deserved it (4737)
On 07/11/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by illenram06 - Philippines (Roxas)
Today, it's my birthday. The present I received from my best friend was the exact same necklace which I gave to her for her birthday two months ago. It had been unwrapped and re-wrapped in the same paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27520) - you deserved it (2725)
Monday 20 May 2013
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