Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shadypalmtree

Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 1:17am) | Search for a member

shadypalmtree

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 448
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

shadypalmtree's page activity

Visits<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:31pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 1:49am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:40pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:50pm<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:31am<b>Sunderlove17</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:00pm<b>jojoluv132</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:11pm<b>monue42</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 2:13pm<b>PickleGoose</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:29am<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:19am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:01am<b>heffastera</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:59am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:47am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:49pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:39pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:29pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:21pm

Liked!<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:50pm

shadypalmtree's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of shadypalmtree's badges

shadypalmtree's favorite FMLs

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (3652)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35868) - you deserved it (2896)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33356) - you deserved it (4547)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

#21276337
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34715) - you deserved it (4941)

On 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32387) - you deserved it (19079)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (14437)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

#21275034
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37935) - you deserved it (5739)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by TalkDirtyToMe - New Zealand

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

#21272079
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (11584)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by eh - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36415) - you deserved it (7253)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36580) - you deserved it (16214)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (6338)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

#21268628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37421) - you deserved it (4554)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm - kids - by Potforapeso (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39233) - you deserved it (3453)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (5444)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50677) - you deserved it (9738)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: