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shadypalmtree's favorite FMLs
Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML
by r1has / 09/12/2016 at 4:21am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous
Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML
by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by whoops / 09/02/2016 at 10:49am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Work
by ScarletSpirit / 08/10/2016 at 6:10am / Intimacy
by meltingturtle / 08/01/2016 at 11:25pm / Love
Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML
by NoDocVisit / 07/26/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was heading out for my flight to Australia. I'd put a padlock on my luggage to keep my wallet and passport safe, only to realize way too late that I'd left the key at home. I couldn't get at my passport and ended up missing my flight and my whole vacation along with it. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by darianvilla / 07/22/2016 at 7:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had to stop at Starbucks to get my boss a drink. His son, who is at least 30 minutes late to work every day, was just walking in as I was walking out with all of my stuff. FML
by jaym42013 / 07/22/2016 at 3:29pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 1:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 1:17pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML
by Foreveralone / 07/22/2016 at 4:54am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new girlfriend took me on a double date with her, her best friend and her best friend's new girlfriend. Which would have been fine, if her best friend's girlfriend wasn't my recent ex. The small world of a lesbian. FML
by kvb81295 / 07/21/2016 at 4:17am / Love