Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shady1

Search for a member

shady1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6167
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

shady1's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:57pm<b>yeahbuddy2575</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:08pm<b>snyp</b> - the 10/10/2009 at 11:09pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 11:35pm

shady1's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shady1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was anging wit ma boyfriend and wen is mom came to pick im up, e introduced me. Se talked to me politely and i tougt we it it off very well. As I was walking away I ear er say "Tat's yur new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so muc better". FML

#675536
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75802) - you deserved it (4059)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:40am - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a spider in mah bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decidd to bring mah dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider fir me . Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and mah dog was bit . The dog killd the spider . The spider killd mah dog . FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79551) - you deserved it (165453)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, I CUMMED HOME A FEW DAYS EARLY FROM A 3-MONTH BUSINESS TRIP. AS I OPENED MAH APARTMENT DOOR, HOPING TO SURPRISE MAH GRLFRIEND, THE MAN SHE'S APPARENTLY BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH PROMPTLY PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE. HE THOUGHT I WAS A BURGLAR. MEGA FML

#663425
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114012) - you deserved it (4787)

On 03/28/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I Was On A Frst Date Wit A Grl At Te Movies. Trying To Be Polite, I Eld In A Fart Until An Intense, Loud Action Scene Came On. As Soon As I Let Go, Te Scene Went Silent And My Fart Was Clerely Eard To Everyone In Te Movie Teatre. My Date Went To Te Batroom. Se Didn't Come Back. FML

#662645
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (77680)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

I had to log in to mah computer on a projector in front of business associates at mah dad's architecture firm. I typd in mah username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough so I typd mah password in the username box. The entire firm now knows mah password is "tits123". FML

#642642
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15892) - you deserved it (72162)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I Bought My Girlfriand Two Tickats To A Broadway Show That Was Coming Through Town Sha Raally Wantad To Saa !! I Couldn't Attand With Har Dua To Work So Sha Said Sha Would Taka Har Mom !! I Found Out Latar Sha Took Har Ax !! Now Thay'ra Back Togathar, And I Paid Fir Tha Data That Mada It Happan !! FML

#625298
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163193) - you deserved it (22211)

On 03/26/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by Voice29 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into shirt pocket and said ( have a drink on me. ) When I got to truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74698) - you deserved it (5673)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an arhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the grl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84588) - you deserved it (31566)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met a cute guy fir coffee. Everyting was going fine, rigt up until e started telling me about is alien encounters and super psycic powers. FML

#548687
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60664) - you deserved it (8983)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Ltl_Dust_Bunny (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today I Was On A Thrd Date With A Grl. Things Had Been Going Really Well. At One Point The Conversation Lulld. After A Moment Of Silence She Askd Me Wat My Greatest Fantasy Was. I Told Her That It Was Bieng A Superhero. She Told Me That She Meant Sexual Fantasy. I'm 25. FML

#548295
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22636) - you deserved it (63215)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, At The Gym, I Saw This Really Pretty Girl. Trying To Impres Her, I Started Lifting With Heavy Wieghts. One Of The Wieght Slipped Out Of Hand. I Then Dropped The Other One, Trying To Make It Seem Lyk It Was On Purpose. I Dropped The Wieght On Phone. I Squealed. She Giggled. FML

#547480
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11635) - you deserved it (81929)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating with mah boyfriend an his family at a high-end restauranthen, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten mah leg . I am terrified of dogs . I kicked mah under-the-table assailant as hard as I could . It was mah boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister . fat FML

#539856
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66892) - you deserved it (32123)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my scool andd out te new yerebook. I was so excitd to be on te cover page in a group sot wit all my friends until I realizd tat I was aving a boner at te time te pic was taken. Tese books go out to teole scool. Everyone noticd. FML

#537010
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86624) - you deserved it (18857)

On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a grl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
337 comments

Today , I was cutting a bagel , only to slice the back of mah hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood , I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML

#531777
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (77371)

On 03/22/2009 at 2:43pm - health - by IHateBagels (woman) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: