shadowolf1120

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shadowolf1120

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 November 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 978
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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shadowolf1120's page activity

Visits<b>ohioain</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 8:43am<b>fatman1970</b> - the 07/05/2011 at 5:32pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:07pm

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shadowolf1120's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

by edulover / 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

by Mike / 12/15/2010 at 6:57am / Work

Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML

by serveandprotectyeahright / 11/20/2010 at 9:00am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

by anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML

by Momma / 06/19/2010 at 3:47am / Kids

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

by lovehurts / 12/28/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

by bobuhbeartoe / 08/24/2009 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

by Ahhwtf / 08/18/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

by oldtexas / 08/13/2009 at 3:27am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

by ttsutaoka / 07/11/2009 at 3:43am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

by Jeweler / 06/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous