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shadowolf1120's favorite FMLs
by edulover / 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
by serveandprotectyeahright / 11/20/2010 at 9:00am / United States (New York) / Animals
by anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML
by lovehurts / 12/28/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
by bobuhbeartoe / 08/24/2009 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Ahhwtf / 08/18/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML
by oldtexas / 08/13/2009 at 3:27am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by ttsutaoka / 07/11/2009 at 3:43am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Jeweler / 06/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance… Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As… Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed…